Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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