The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
