he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
