I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
