i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Randomize
