operation harelip BJ is a go
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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