so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
