Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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