it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
he shaved USA in his pubs
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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