I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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