So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Randomize
