You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
