fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
