My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
