This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize