i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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