Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
