Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
