If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
