Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
