Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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