I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Dear god my vagina.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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