And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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