It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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