I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
