I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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