i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
