Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
