You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
