Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
