Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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