my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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