Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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