Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
