if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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