k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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