His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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