if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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