is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
