Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
