You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
