Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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