Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
