Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
