I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
