i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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