I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
