spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
