Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
