Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
