Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
