Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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