i always forget guys have bellybuttons
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
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