ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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