when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
