pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
