so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
