Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
