I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
